A story is told about a philosopher of Ancient Greece, Diogenes of Synope. A religious man tried to convince Diogones that Poseidon was the great god of the sea by telling him miracle stores about the sailors who prayed to Poseidon and were saved from drowning. “Their pictures and stories are kept in the temple of Poseidon where everyone can see them,” the religious man added.
“And where,” asked Diogones, “do they keep the pictures of the sailors who prayed to Poseidon and drowned?” (I’ve also seen this story told of Diagoras of MIlos).
At one point Diogenes had a slave, but the slave ran away. Diogenes is supposed to have said: “If the slave can live without Diogenes, Diogenes can live without the slave.”
Diogenes was knee deep in a stream washing vegetables. Coming up to him, Plato said, “My good Diogenes, if you knew how to pay court to kings, you wouldn’t have to wash vegetables.” “And,” replied Diogenes, “If you knew how to wash vegetables, you wouldn’t have to pay court to kings.”
Plato was discoursing on his theory of ideas and, pointing to the cups on the table before him, said while there are many cups in the world, there is only one `idea’ of a cup, and this cupness precedes the existence of all particular cups. “I can see the cups on the table,” said Diogenes, “but I can’t see the `cupness'”. “That’s because you have the eyes to see the cup,” said Plato, “but”, tapping his head with his forefinger, “you don’t have the intellect with which to comprehend `cupness’.” Diogenes walked up to the table, examined a cup and, looking inside, asked, “Is it empty?” Plato nodded. “Where is the `emptiness’ which precedes this empty cup?” asked Diogenes. Plato allowed himself a few moments to collect his thoughts, but Diogenes reached over and, tapping Plato’s head with his finger, said “I think you will find here is the `emptiness’.
Diogenes claimed to have gotten his morality from the dog, cynic in ancient Greek (Κύνες). “The dog is honest; he is not impressed by grand words, fancy clothes, or titles” said Diogenes, “he is loyal to those who are good to him; he bites those who ill-treat him or his friends, and he’s not embarrassed to do what he does to live.” (There were several other dog-philosophers, including Socrates, and two other philosophers named Diogenes).
“Is it true, Diogenes, that you have been doing lewd acts in public and within your barrel?” Diogenes was asked, “I only wish that I could cure my hunger too, just by rubbing my belly.”
Alexander is supposed to have offered Diogenes any reward he wished that he had the power to grant (some say it was the king of Minos). Diogenes relied, “Please step outside of my sunlight.” The king is supposed to have replied: “If I could not be king, I would be Diogenes.”
Someone asked Diogenes why it was that many students left him and joined other teachers, but hardly any left other teachers and joined him. “That’s because” said Diogenes, “it is easy to make a eunuch from a man, but hard to make a man from a eunuch.”
Diogenes was asked why he thought it was that people gave charity to cripples and beggars but not readily to him. “Was it an indication, perhaps, that he should get an honest job?” “No,” said Diogenes, “All men fear that they might become blind, crippled or poor some day, so they give in hopes that others will give. Yet no one ever worries that some day he’ll wake up and find he’s a philosopher.”
R.E. Buxbaum, Sept. 13, 2013. Diogenes is not considered the greatest philosopher of ancient Greece, but he excels at finding flaws in the better known philosophies of Plato and Aristotle. It seems he disliked Plato personally, but was on good terms with Socrates, and perhaps with the Pythagorean school, including Democritus. My favorites are when he opposes bad proofs of religion, when he opposes the legitimacy of kings and elites, and when he deflates Plato’s bizarre elevation of the ideal above the real. Not all cynic philosophers avoided work and a normal life, by the way; Socrates worked as a stone cutter, and was married.